PRICE TWENTY-FIVE CENTS 




PLAYS FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY 

J5 CENTS EACH 

p 

CRANFORD DAMES. 2 Scenes; \y% hours 8 

GERTRUDE MASON, M. D. 1 Act; 30 minutes 7 

CHEERFUL COMPANION. 1 Act; 25 minutes 2 

LESSON IN ELEGANCE. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 

MAIDENS ALL FORLORN. 3 Acts; \y± hours 6 

MURDER WILL OUT. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

ROMANCE OF PHYLLIS. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 

SOCIAL ASPIRATIONS. 1 Act; 45 minutes 5 

OUTWITTED. 1 Act; 20 minutes 8 

WHITE DOVE OF ONEIDA. 2 Acts; 45 minutes.. 4 

SWEET FAMILY. lAct;lhour 8 

BELLES OF BLACKVILLE. lAct;2hours 80 

PRINCESS KIKU. (2 5 cents) .' 13 

RAINBOW KIMONA. (So cents.) 2 Acts; 1^ hours...... 9 

MERRY OLD MAIDS. (2 cents.) Motion Song. ... . 11 

PLAYS FOR MALE CHARACTERS ONLY 

J5 CENTS EACH 

H 

APRIL FOOLS. 1 Act; 30 minutes 8 

BYRD AND HURD. 1 Act; 40 minutes 6 

DARKEY WOOD DEALER. 1 Act; 20 minutes 8 

WANTED, A MAHATMA. 1 Act: 30 minutes 4 

HOLY TERROR. 1 Act; 30 minutes 4 

MANAGER'S TRIALS. 1 Act; 1 hour 9 

MEDICA. lAct; 35 minutes 7 

NIGGER NIGHT SCHOOL. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

SLIM JIM AND THE HOODOO. 1 Act; 30 minutes 5 

WANTED. A CONFIDENTIAL CLERK. 1 Act; 30 minutes 6 

SNOBSON'S STAG PARTY. 1 Act; 1 hour. 12 

PICKLES AND TICKLES. 1 Act; 20 minutes 6 

HARVEST STORM. 1 Act; 40 minutes v 10 

CASE OF HERR BAR ROOMSKI. Mock Trial; 2 hours....' 28 

DARKEY BREACH OF PROMISE CASE. Mock Trial. 22 

GREAT LIBEL CASE. Mock Trial; 1 Scene; 2 hours 21 

RIDING THE GOAT. Burlesque Initiation; 1 Scene; 1^ hours 24 

DICK & FITZGERALD, Publishers, 18 Ann Street, N. Y. 



MY SON ARTHUR 



A Comedy in One Act 



By MARY F. KINGSTON 



Copyright 1916 by Dick & Fitzgerald 



NEW YORK 

DICK & FITZGERALD 

18 ANN STREET 






MY SON ARTHUR 



CHARACTERS 

Arthur The son 

Mrs. Appleby A doting mother 

Jane Perry An athletic girl 

Evelyn Hays A dance devotee 

Sally Lewis A student 

Marie Ogden Stage struck 

Elsie Jenkins With a susceptible heart 

Mrs. Pry The hotel gossip 

Jennie The unexpected guest 

Hotel Clerk 

Time. — The present. Locality. — A country town. 

Time of Playing. — About forty-five minutes. 



COSTUMES 

Jane wears a tennis suit, and other characters wear 
appropriate summer dresses. 



INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES 

A book for Sally. Tennis racket for Jane. Paper, 
envelope, fountain pen and glasses for Mrs. Pry. Mag- 
azine and box of chocolates for Elsie. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS 

As seen by a performer on the stage, facing the audience, 
r. means right-hand, l., left-hand. c. center of stage. 
d. c, door at center; d. r., door at right, up, means toward 
back of stage; down, toward footlights. yC"* 

2 £ 6 +**~ 
SEP 12 1916 0cLD 4 %7i 

IS* I . 



MY SON ARTHUR 



SCENE. — Office of a summer hotel. Morning. Desk with 
hotel register in prominent place, mail box, post cards, 
candy boxes, etc. Door at center back leading into the 
hotel. Door at right leading to porch. A rocker and 
several chairs placed conveniently about the room. At 
rise of curtain Sally is DISCOVERED absorbed in a 
book, and the Hotel Clerk is in back of the desk. 

ENTER Jane, d. c, with tennis racket. Gets mail from 
clerk. 

Jane (turns and sees* Sally). Hello, Sally: What? 
A book so early in the morning? This isn't college — it's a 
vacation! 

Sally. I know. That's the reason I'm reading. I 
don't have any time at college. 

Jane. All right, you old bookworm, go ahead. I'll read 
my mail. (Opens a letter and reads with great interest) 

Sally (looking up and noticing Jane's absorption). 
From the interest you give that letter, it must be from 
Dick. 

Jane (enthusiastically). It is! 

Sally. Poor Dick. 

Jane (quickly). Why, what's the matter with him? 

Sally. Nothing yet. I was thinking how awful it 
would be if Mrs. Appleby's son should cut him out. 

Jane (puzzled). Mrs. Appleby? Mrs. Appleby? Oh, 
yes, I know now the one you mean — that woman who was 
talking to me last night about her wonderful son. 

Sally. Yes. 

Jane. Say, I wonder what sort of a " Triple X" par- 
agon "My Son Arthur" is, anyway. According to his 
mother, there isn't a single thing in the world he doesn't 
3 



4 My Son Arthur 

excel in, and yet — yea verily — we have never before heard 
his name spoken of. Amen. 

Sally (reprovingly). Jane! Don't get sacrilegious! 
Every time you say a thing like that, the thought track in 
your brain deepens and makes it easier for you to say such 
things again. 

Jane. That's your old psychology! It makes me sick, 
anyway. I wouldn't study it for a farm. (Disgustedly) 
The idea of getting ruts in your head every time you 
think. No, thank you, I'd rather play tennis. (Makes 
stroke with racket) 

ENTER Evelyn d. c. She shows her love of dancing in her 
walk. 

Evelyn. Whoever saw such a combination — an athlete 
and a bookworm! 

Jane. Sally's teaching my tennis racket the latest style 
in brain cells. Come on and hear. 

Evelyn (disregarding this remark). Girls, do either of 
you know Mrs. Appleby? < 

Jane. "On with the dance!" What's your trouble? 

Evelyn. None — far from it — it's good news. Mrs. 
Appleby's son is coming today and she says he dances 
wonderfully. I'll be so glad, for there isn't a man here who 
does. But, do you think she might be a little bit preju- 



Jane (shrugging her shoulders). Such things have hap- 
pened. His mother told me that he has won six thousand 
and forty tennis tournaments — or something like that. 
If she weren't his mother, you'd think she was his matri- 
monial agent. 

Sally. Why Jane, what do you mean? 

Jane. Just this. Do you know Mrs. Pry? That funny 
little woman who can trace everybody's ancestors from the 
original monkey? Well, she told Mrs. Hart that she be- 
lieved that Mrs. Appleby was a shrewd business woman 
and that she was bound that her son should marry money. 

Of course it may not be so, it makes (Stops short cls 

Mrs. Appleby appears at d. k.) 

Mrs. Appleby. Ah, good morning, girlies. What a 



My Son Arthur 5 

charming picture you make! My son Arthur should be 
here now. (ENTERS d. r., goes over to the girls, who re- 
ceive her politely but without enthusiasm, and sits in 
rocker. She directs her attention to Jane, excluding the other 
two, who talk in pantomime.) Tennis again? I am so 
anxious to have you play with Arthur. He just loves 
tennis! 

Jane. Is that so? (Strolls over to the hotel register and 
reads it. Mrs. Appleby turns to Evelyn. Sally reads 
her book) 

Mrs. Appleby (to Evelyn). I did so enjoy seeing you 
dance last night. You are the soul of motion, my dear. I 
can hardly wait to see you dance with my son Arthur. 
He is 

Jane (interrupting). Good-bye people, I'm going down 
to the courts. (Evelyn starts after her) Coming, Evelyn? 
Excuse us, Mrs. Appleby. 

[EXIT Jane and Evelyn, d. r. 

Mrs. Appleby (turning to Sally, who is reading in- 
tently). Aren't they charming girls? Which is your 
favorite? I can't seem to make up my mind which I like 
the better. 

Sally (looking up abstractedly). Beg pardon. Did you 
speak to me? 

Mrs. Appleby. Yes. I said the girls were charming. 

Sally (with enthusiasm). Indeed they are — they're 
splendid! 

Mrs. Appleby (having gotten Sally's attention). Rather 
frivolous, though. / prefer a serious girl, one who reads 
and thinks. So does my son Arthur. I do so hope he will 
marry a serious girl. 

Sally (uncomfortably). Yes? 

Mrs. Appleby (looking at Sally's book). But I am in- 
truding. Go right on with your reading. I wouldn't 
interrupt such delight. 

Sally. I think if you will excuse me, I'll go get another 
book. 

Mrs. Appleby. Go right along, my dear. (EXIT 
Sally c. d. Mrs. Appleby rocks rapidly, drumming on 
the chair arm) 



6 My Son Arthur 

ENTER Mrs. Pry, d. c. carrying paper, envelope and 
fountain pen. Sits in chair vacated by Sally. 

Mrs. Pry (briskly). Fine day, Mrs. Appleby. 

Mrs. Appleby. It is, indeed. (With quick change to 
earnestness) Mrs. Pry, who told you that every girl in this 
house was an heiress? Why, I never knew it until yester- 
day morning! 

Mrs, Pry. I've known it for years. You see, Mrs. 
Waterbury is a friend of mine, and she is related to Jane 
Perry. Her mother's second cousin's husband was an 
uncle of Mrs. Perry's niece by marriage, so of course she 
knows all about them. 

Mrs. Appleby. How was that? 

Mrs. Pry. Mrs. Waterbury's mother's second cousin's 
husband was an uncle of Mrs. Perry 's niece by mar- 
riage. 

Mrs. Appleby. You say that Mrs. Waterbury's 
niece 

Mrs. Pry. No, no. Mrs. Waterbury's mother's 
second 

Mrs. Appleby (cutting in). Oh yes, to be sure. And 
that's the way you know the Perry s are rich? 

Mrs. Pry. Yes. I know for a fact that Mr. Perry is 
worth a million. He made it himself, in copper. His 
parents were farmers — fine people, but no money. Mr. 
Perry is a born business man. His wife has always had 
money. She's the daughter of "Old Sawyer" — you know 
him, "Old Sawyer of Wall Street." Fine old man, they 
said, but a perfect wizard at making money. He must 
have inherited it, for they say he is a direct descendant of 
Croesus — and you know who Croesus was! 

Mrs. Appleby. Oh yes — but Jane? Is she 

Mrs. Pry. No. You'd never know from Jane that 
they had a cent. She cares more for tennis than for 
dollars. 

Mrs. Appleby. And are the others just as rich? 

Mrs. Pry. Mrs. Waterbury says they are, and as she's a 
relative of the Perry s', she ought to know. 

Mrs. Appleby (almost smacking her lips). Ummm! All 
rich! Ummm! 



My Son Arthur 7 

ENTER Marie d. c. She goes to desk, buys candy, and 
gets mail. 

Mrs. Pry {nodding toward Marie). Now there's 
Marie Ogden. She's another who isn't satisfied with 
money alone. She wants a career. Wants to go on the 
stage, but her mother won't let her. 

Mrs. Appleby. Is her mother a puritan? 

Mrs. Pry. Oh dear, no. It isn't that — only she thinks 
it is absolute foolishness to work if one isn't forced to do it. 
Between you and me, the Ogclens would never have had 
their money if it had been left to Mrs. Ogden to make it. 
She was one of the Joneses from Dover and her people 
never had a cent. Why, her brother is so shiftless that 
he wouldn't walk if he could get somebody to carry him. 
Mrs. Waterbury says that all Mrs. Ogden's relations are 
like that. Why one of her nieces had a husband whose 
brother's wife's sister was a perfect lazybones, so you can 
see that it runs in the family. But don't tell anybody I 
said that, for I wouldn't want anyone to think that I was 
criticising! Well, I must go finish a letter to my husband. 
I feel that it is my duty to write to him once in a while 
when he is down in the hot city all alone. (EXIT Mrs. 
Pry d. r. Marie leaves the desk and tries to avoid Mrs. Ap- 
pleby) 

Mrs. Appleby. My dear, are you in too much of a 
hurry to talk to a lonely old woman for a minute. 

Marie. Of course not. 

Mrs. Appleby. I've been hearing great things about 
your dramatic talent. {Pinches Marie's cheek playfully) 
I never dreamed we had an actress in our midst. 

Marie. Oh, I'm not a real actress — I only wish I 
were. I think it must be the most wonderful thing in the 
world. 

Mrs. Appleby. But why don't you go on the stage? 

Marie. My mother won't let me. 

Mrs. Appleby. Then why not marry? Now if you 
would only marry a man like my son Arthur, you could 
have your career and a devoted husband, as well. Arthur 
just dotes on the stage. (Marie is nonplussed at this 
extravagance and is about to protest) 



8 My Son Arthur 

ENTER Mrs. Pry d. r. with letter, which she mails. 

Marie. Excuse me. [EXIT d. c. 

Mrs. Pry. Well, that letter is written and my con- 
science is clear for another week. The worst part of leaving 
your husband for the summer, is writing letters to him. 

Mrs. Appleby. Yes, I find it convenient to be a 
widow. 

ENTER Elsie d. r., with a magazine and a box of 
chocolates. She sits in a comfortable chair and begins to 
eat and read. 

Mrs. Appleby. Who is that girl? 

Mrs. Pry. That's Elsie Jenkins. She's a nice little 
thing but without an overabundance of brains. Good 
hearted, though, and so trusting it's funny. She takes it 
honestly enough. Her mother was just the same, they say. 
She married ever so young and died when Elsie was a little 
baby. They say she was just like Elsie is. Her father was 
a minister. They say that he was related to our pastor. 
I think his wife was our pastor's wife's uncle's cousin. I'm 
not quite sure, but I think that is the way it was. Elsie 
comes from a fine family, and she is so good hearted. Her 
only drawback is that she stutters. 

Mrs. Appleby. I think I'd like to meet her. Have they 
lots of money? 

Mrs. Pry. More than they can spend. They say that 
Mr. Jenkins lies awake nights, wondering how to use it. 

Mrs. Appleby. Call her over and introduce us, won't 
you? 

Mrs. Pry. Elsie, come here a moment. I want to 
present you to Mrs. Appleby. (They exchange courtesies. 
Mrs Pry picks up Elsie's magazine) 

Mrs. Appleby (to Elsie). My dear child, this hotel is 
wonderful. Each girl I meet is lovelier than the last. I 
can't wait until my son Arthur comes. 

Elsie (stuttering). Your s-s-s-son? W-w-when is he 
coming? 

Mrs. Appleby. Very soon, now. 

Elsie. How p-p-perfectly 1-lovely. W-what is he like? 



My Son Arthur 9 

Mrs. Appleby (with feigned modesty). How can I say. 
Love's spectacles magnify. 

Elsie. How b-b-beautifully you talk. (Sadly) But 
maybe he won't notice me. 

Mrs. Appleby. Oh yes he will. Leave that to me. 
You can't tell, it might be a case of love at first sight. 

Elsie (in raptures). Oh, I sh-sh-should p-perfectly 
1-love it. 

Mrs. Appleby. You dear enthusiastic child! Arthur 
loves enthusiasm. Maybe you two were made for each 
other. 

Elsie. H-how w-w-wonderful! P-p-papa would be so 
p-pleased. 

Mrs. Appleby. Yes? 

Elsie. You see, m-my mother is d-dead and I am the 
only ch-child, and our house is so dull. N-nothing in it 
but s-servants. And p-papa is so anxious to have me get 
married. 

Mrs. Appleby (with suppressed excitement). Servants? 
Ummm! Er — how many have you, dear? 

Elsie. I-I-I don't kn-know. I n-never counted them. 
But I know one th-th-thing, when I g-get a home of my 
own, I w-wont have one! I'll sc-sc-scrub and sw-sw-sweep, 
and everything. 

Mrs. Appleby. Oh, my dear, no. That would be 
foolish. Just think of the people who would love to have 
servants. 

Elsie. They w-wouldn't if they loved h-housework and 
never had a chance to d-do any. 

Mrs. Appleby. You funny child. Why don't you get 
married and do as you like? 

Elsie. G-g-getting married w-wouldn't help any, for 
I'd have to 1-live home with pa-papa and all those s-s-ser- 
vants, for p-papa will take my h-husband into the bu-busi- 
ness with him. 

Mrs. Appleby (admonishingly) . My darling child! 
Don't tell that to everybody, for some mothers would try to 
make a match between you and their sons. You may tell 
me, for it is all right. Do you know, you are just ex- 
actly the kind of a girl I would like to see my son Arthur 
marry. 



19 My Son Arthur 

Elsie. Am I, r-r-really? How p-perfectly d-d-divine! 

Mrs. Pry (looking up from the magazine and interrupt- 
ing). Well, I think I'll go down to the tennis courts and 
watch them play. Do you care to come, Mrs. Appleby? 

Mrs. Appleby. Thank you, I think I will. (To Elsie) 
Good-bye, my dear. Be sure you are around so that I may 
present Arthur to you. (EXIT Mrs. Pry and Mrs. Ap- 
pleby d. r. Elsie sighs happily, takes a large chocolate 
and opens her magazine) 

ENTER Jane and Evelyn d. c. 

Jane (looking around) . I wonder where Cupid has gone? 
My, how I don't like that woman! She's too ikky sweet. 

Evelyn (charitably). That's just her manner, I think. 

Jane. Then it's her manner that I don't like. I feel 
sure I'd never care for her as a mother-in-law. 

Evelyn (quickly). What do you mean? 

Jane. She has kindly invited me to throw myself at the 
head of "My Son Arthur" that's all. Of course I've never 
seen her little boy so I have nothing against him. Just the 
same, I'm not going to have him, or anybody else, thrust 
at me by some matchmaker. 

Evelyn. I can't imagine what you mean. 

Jane. Well, at first she literally made me promise to 
play tennis with him. That isn't so bad, for he'd have to 
stay on the other side of the net, anyway — but when 
Mrs. Appleby tells me how anxious she is to have her son 
marry a tennis playing mate, I feel that it is time to look 
out. 

Evelyn (getting interested). What did she say to you? 

Jane. Oh, a lot of stuff — mainly that her dear son 
loved tennis so well that he would be sure to love me for 
loving it. I don't remember all she said, for that was the 
order of it. 

Evelyn. How funny! Why she said almost the same 
thing to me only it was about dancing instead of tennis. 

Jane. She did? Great Scott, let's look at the register. 
Perhaps they're Mormons! (They dash over to the register. 
Elsie looks up from her magazine. They turn and catch her 
eye) 



My Son Arthur 11 

Jane. Do you know where Sally is, Elsie? 
Elsie. Out on the p-p-porch. I'll t-tell her you want 
her. [EXIT Elsie d. r. 

ENTER Sally d. r. 

Sally. Elsie says you want me. 

Jane. I do. Sally, do you want to marry Mrs. Apple- 
by's son? 

Sally. Don't talk foolishness, Jane. I thought you 
wanted me for something. 

Jane. This is certainly something — and something 
serious. Do you want to marry "My Son Arthur?" 

Sally. Of course I don't — and you know it. 

Jane. Then join the union, or you may get caught. 
I'm going to do all I can to save my friends from a plain, 
unvarnished conspiracy. 

Sally {sedately). Jane, you sound like a trashy novel. 

Jane. Just the same I'm deadly in earnest. I have 
reason to believe that Mrs. Appleby is here to marry one 
of us to this son of hers. Now, I have decided to form a 
" Society for the Prevention of Undesirable Matrimony," 
and you've got to join. Listen. Has Mrs. Appleby ever 
said anything to you about how much she would like it if 
her son Arthur should fall in love with a girl who was 
always reading? 

Sally. Yes, she did say something like that. 

Evelyn (looking at Jane). What do you think of 
that? 

Jane (with decision). Now I'm sure. We'd better settle 
this thing right away. I'll go get the other girls. You 
wait here. [EXIT Jane d. r. 

Evelyn. Isn't Jane a dear? She's lots more worried 
over us than she is herself. 

Sally. Yes — it seems as if she were always looking 
after us. 

ENTER Jane, Elsie and Marie d. r. 

Jane (to Elsie and Marie). Will you girls answer any 
question I ask? 



12 My Son Arthur 

Elsie. Oh, I've pl-pl-played this g-g-game before. I 
th-th-thought you were going to t-talk about s-s-something 
r-real. 

Evelyn (impressively). Don't worry — it's real enough. 

Jane (to Elsie). Elsie, has Mrs. Appleby ever told you 
that you would make a perfect wife for her son Arthur? 

Elsie. I'm n-not g-g-going to tell you, Jane P-P-Perry. 
It was all c-c-c-confidential. 

Jane (to Marie). Marie, does this sound familiar? 
(Imitating Mrs. Appleby) "My dear, if you would only 
marry my son Arthur, you could go on with your career 
and become a wonderful actress. You should marry him, 
my dear." 

Marie (almost out of sorts). Where were you? 

Jane (pretending not to understand). Where was I? 
When? 

Marie. When Mrs. Appleby said those things to me! 
(Laughing) But what difference does it make, I'd have told 
you anyway. Yes, it does sound very familiar. 

Jane. Now listen to me, girls, if you don't want to get 
caught by a regular matrimonial agent of a mother, avoid 
Mrs. Appleby! 

Elsie. J-J-Jane, that is the first c-c-catty thing I ever 
heard you say. Mrs. Appleby is 1-1-lovely, and I won't 
have her insulted even b-by my b-b-best friends, so 
there! 

Jane. All right, Elsie — you don't have to join the 
union. All we ask is that you will listen to our meeting, 
and keep it a secret. But you must listen. This morning, 
Mrs. Appleby kept harping on how her son loved tennis, 
and how she hoped that he would marry a tennis player, 
and all that sort of thing. From what you girls have ad- 
mitted I find that she has said practically the same thing 
to you, only with the words dancing, books, home-life, 
theatre, as the case might be. 

Elsie (almost tearfully). It d-doesn't seem p-p-pos- 
sible! 

Jane. What shall we do with the audience? It is talk- 
ing back! 

Sally. If I were you, I'd listen to her story if she will 
tell it. 



My Son Arthur 13 

Elsie. T-t-tell it? I'm b-b-bursting! That five-faced 
woman! And I've m-made an appointment to m-m-meet 
her old son! 

Sally (gently). Don't feel badly, dear. She almost 
hood-winked us all. 

Evelyn. Not all — Jane was awake. 

Jane. But now the question is, what are we going to 
do? 

Sally. What can we do? 

Evelyn (hopelessly). I haven't an idea. 

Marie (dramatically). Let's kill the villain with dirks! 

Elsie. L-1-let's all g-g-go home. 

Jane. No, let's all make him propose, and we'll all 
accept him. He can't marry us all, and just see the pickle 
he will be in. 

Elsie (whose heart is soft). I w-wonder if h-he's hand- 
some? 

Jane. Never mind if he is. Don't you dare like him! 
Remember, when you are pleasant to him you will only be 
acting a part, and if you dare get serious, we'll all disown 
you for a friend. Oh, I see chaos ahead! 

Elsie. P-p-perhaps he will be ugly, and then it w-won't 
be h-hard. 

Jane. Now look here, Elsie, if there's going to be any 
danger, we'll lock you in your room. 

Sally (gently). You stay with me, Elsie. I won't let 
you fall in love, really. 

ENTER Mrs. Appleby d. c. 

Mrs. Appleby. Ah, here you are — all together. How 
glad I am, for my son is coming any minute and you will 
all be here to meet him. Isn't that charming? (To Elsie, 
aside) Of course, I am anxious to have Arthur meet all of 
your friends, but I am sure he will like you best. 

Sally (seeing trouble ahead). Elsie — pardon me, Mrs. 
Appleby — did you find the handkerchief I put on your 
bureau? 

Elsie (not understanding). Wh-wh-what handkerchief? 

Sally. One I borrowed. (Shakes her head warningly at 
Elsie^ 



14 My Son Arthur 

Mrs. Appleby. I believe they are coming. (Hurries 
over to d. r. The girls preen themselves) 

ENTER d. r. Arthur, a sad imitation of a man, a weakling 
and a sissy — but girlishly pretty. Mrs. Appleby rushes 
up to him and throws her arms around his neck. The girls 
are in a state of silent excitement. Jane ivants to laugh; 
Elsie to cry; and Marie to faint. They do some pan- 
tomime work. 

Arthur. Hullo, mamma! (Goes to desk and registers) 

Mrs. Appleby (to Arthur). I am so glad you have 
come. I have never seen so many lovely girls — lovely and 
rich!! 

Arthur (absently). Y' don't say so. 

Mrs. Appleby (with suppressed excitement) . And every 
one an heiress, so you can take your pick. 

Arthur (uninterestedly) . That so! I'll go to my room 
now, mamma. 

Mrs. Appleby. No, wait. Miss Jenkins! (Elsie leaves 
the group of girls and goes over) I want to present My Son 
Arthur. Excuse me, and I'll go get the other girls. (She 
leaves them alone) 

Elsie (waiting for him to speak). H-h-have you ever 
b-b-been here b-b-before? 

Arthur (with embarrassment). No, that is, yes, er, — 
I beg your pardon, what was it you said? 

Elsie. I asked you i-if you h-h-had ever been h-here 
before. It's a lovely place. Don't you like it? 

Arthur. No, that is, er, yes. I think I'll go to my room 
now. (Turns to go out but is confronted with his mother and 
Sally) 

Mrs. Appleby (gushingly). And now, Arthur dear, I 
want to present you to Miss Lewis — a wonderful student. 

Arthur. How do you do, Miss Lewis. I am going to 
my room now, mamma! 

Mrs. Appleby (dolefully). But the others will be so 
disappointed. Why, they've been waiting around all the 
morning to meet you. Come, dear, and I'll present you. 
(They go over to the group and Arthur is presented in pan- 
tomime) 



My Son Arthur 15 



Elsie (to Sally). I-Isn't he rather — 

Arthur (to group)* Glad to know you. I'll go to my 
room now, mamma. (Hurried EXIT at d. c., followed by 
Mrs. Appleby. The girls look at each other aghast) 

Jane. Cordial sample, isn't he? 

Elsie. Maybe it's bec-c-cause he's b-b-bashful. I 
think he h-h-has a lovely f-f-face. 

All. Elsie!!! 

Elsie. I-I-I'm sorry for h-him. 

Jane (getting alarmed). Now, Elsie, you can't like him — ■ 
even if you should want to. Remember how lonely 
you would be at college if we all stopped being your 
friends. 

Elsie. Oh, of c-c-course I'll do my p-part, but I f-feel 
like an awful s-sneak. 

Jane. Well, you needn't — for you are just acting a 
part. We'll all help you. {Turning to group) Imagine his 
playing tennis! I believe I could beat him with my arms 
tied behind me. Come on, let's go get some air. 

[EXIT Sally, d. c, other Girls d. r. 

ENTER d. r. Mrs. Pry, who seeks the register. 

Mrs. Pry (adjusting her glasses and reading). Arthur 
Claude Appleby! Ugh, writes like a knock-kneed jelly 
fish!! (She looks up) 

ENTER Arthur and Sally d. c. 

Sally (talking rapidly) . I am so glad you like psychol- 
ogy. Your mother told me how interested you were in the 
subject, and it is so hard to get anybody here to talk about 
it. 

Arthur (stupidly). Ah ah yes. 

Sally. Do you believe that hypnotism is a scientific 
benefit or a pernicious practise? 

Arthur (in a maze). Yes, I do. 

Sally. You do what? 

Arthur (hopelessly). What you said. 

Sally. I'm so glad. It is certainly difficult to get an 
opinion like that from most people. 



16 My Son Arthur 

ENTER Marie d. r. 

Marie. Oh, Mr. Appleby, your mother has told me 
how fond you are of the theatre, and I wanted to ask you 
which you thought the better actress, Sarah Bernhardt or 
Eva Tanguay? 

Arthur. Ah, that is, er, I really don't know. I never 
saw either of them. 

ENTER other girls d. r. They form a group around 
Arthur, and talk in pantomime. ENTER Mrs. Ap- 
pleby, d. c. 

Mrs. Appleby (rushing up) . Ah, there you are. Come, 
young folks, they are just going to start a baseball game. 
Don't you want to come out and see it? 

All (except Arthur). Oh, yes. [EXIT All d. r. 

RE-ENTER Arthur d. r., followed closely by Elsie. 
Arthur turns and looks around for a place of escape. 

Elsie (with reproach). W-w-why did you r-run away? 

Arthur (petulantly). I don't want to see their old 
game. 

Elsie. But y-you w-w-wouldn't spoil everything, 
would you? 

Arthur. No. Go ahead and watch — you don't have to 
stay here. 

Elsie. After w-w-waiting all d-day for you to c-c- 
come! 

ENTER Evelyn d. r. 

Evelyn. I wondered what had become of you, Mr. 
Appleby, for I thought if you did not care for the ball 
game, you might come out on the porch and teach me the 
dances that have come out since I have been up here. 
You don't mind, do you Elsie? (Puts her arm through 
Arthur's and they EXIT d. r. Elsie looks after them re- 
gretfully) 



My Son Arthur 17 

ENTER Mks. Appleby d. r. 

Mrs. Appleby. What, my dear, sitting here all alone? 
Where's Arthur? 

Elsie. H-he's j-j-just gone out on the p-p-porch. 

Mrs. Appleby. I'm afraid Arthur is not well today. 
You wait until you see him at his best. Do you know, I 
believe that he does like you best of all! 

Elsie. R-r-really? But I d-don't dare 1-like him. If I 
d-did, my fr-fr-friends 

Mrs. Appleby (interrupting). I know, but he can't 
marry them all, so it is all right for me to be glad that you 
are the one. I am sure it is a love match. (Elsie plainly 
in raptures) 

ENTER d. r. Jane who suspects what is going on. 

Jane. Elsie, we've been looking all over for you. 
You're missing the whole game, (EXIT Jane and Elsie 
d. r. Mrs. Appleby nods her head in emphatic approval at 
Elsie's departing figure) 

ENTER Arthur d. r. He appears much dejected. 

Mrs. Appleby. Having a good time, darling? 

Arthur. No. 

Mrs. Appleby. What? 

Arthur (correcting himself). No, mamma! 

Mrs. Appleby. What's the matter? Can't you decide 
which one of the girls you like best? 

Arthur. I don't like any of them, mamma. 

Mrs. Appleby (severely). You don't? What do you 
think I spent all that money to bring you up here, for? 
You've got to like one of them. Haven't I told you that 
they are all rich? 

ENTER Jane d. r. 

Jane. Oh, Mr. Appleby, we're going to have a game of 
charades now that the ball game is over. Our side is going 



18 My Son Arthur 

to give the word decipher and we want you to represent the 
cipher. (Arthur tries to protest, but she drags him off) 

[EXIT Jane and Arthur d. c, followed by Mrs. Appleby. 

ENTER Sally d. r. She drops into a chair and is soon 
lost in her book. Then ENTER Elsie d. r. Looks 
around in a guilty fashion. She startles the usually 
placid Sally. 

Sally (jumping). Goodness, how you scared me. I be- 
lieve this intrigue is making me nervous. 

Elsie. I-I'm not g-g-going to do it any m-more — for 
really, I th-think Mr. Appleby is q-q-quite nice. 

Sally. Suppose he is? You dear, silly girl, I believe 
you've begun to romance. You'd better not let Jane 
know it. 

Elsie. I-I-I don't like the w-w-way Jane is acting, 
anyway. Honest, Sally, d-d-don't you think he has 
1-lovely eyes? 

ENTER other girls d. r. 

Jane. Where's Arthur? I've lost him again. 

Elsie. I th-th-think he's gone out, and I don't b-b- 
blame him. 

Jane. But we've just begun. 

Elsie. I-I've st-st-stopped. I like Mr. Appleby, so 
there. (EXIT Elsie d. c. hastily. The girls look at each 
other) 

Sally. Don't you think we'd better stop? I'm afraid 
we are making Elsie feel that Mr. Appleby needs a cham- 
pion. 

Jane. For goodness' sake, who would have ever ex- 
pected this? I can't understand Elsie! 

Sally. That's because you have never been starved 
by loneliness. You leave Elsie to me. And if I were you, 
I wouldn't say any more about our intrigue to her. 

Jane. We're going on with it just the same. I'm not 
going to let that woman get the best of Brandford College! 

Evelyn. Of course, we will stand by you, Jane. 



My Son Arthur 19 

ENTER Mrs. Appleby d. c. 

Mrs. Appleby. My dear girls! It looks as though you 
were planning some delightful scheme. Won't you tell 
me, too? I wish Arthur were here to listen to it, but I 
think (Meaningly) that he has gone off to decide a big 
question. Mrs. Pry said he went over to the railroad 
station, but he may be back any minute. Come now, tell 
me what you were plotting, (turning) Oh, here's Arthur, 
now. 

ENTER Arthur d. r. 

Jane (aside to Marie). See how guilty he looks. Per- 
haps he has decided to accept one of us, after all. 

Marie. Shhh ! Listen ! ! 

Mrs. Appleby. Well, Arthur, have you made up your 
mind? 

Arthur. What about, mamma? 

Mrs. Appleby (in an undertone). About getting mar- 
ried. 

Arthur (uneasily). Yes, mamma. 

Mrs. Appleby (looks around the group appraisingly and 
beckons Elsie to her side) . Girls, Arthur is going to tell us 
something so interesting that I want to share it with you. 
Go on, Arthur. 

Arthur. I have decided that as long as you were so 
anxious to have me get married, I'd better do it. 

Mrs. Appleby (gushingly). My dear boy! 

Arthur. You don't know how hard it was for me to 
choose, but as long as you are always keeping at me to get 
married, I have chosen the girl I like best. (Beckons 
toward d. r.) I hope you will be pleased, mamma. (EN- 
TER Jennie, the Unexpected Guest, d. r,) This is 
Jennie. She used to work in the Bee Hive Store, but I 
married her yesterday. Go kiss mamma, Jennie. (Jen- 
nie starts toward Mrs. Appleby. Mrs. Appleby stares 
at her, speechless. The girls are amazed.) 

CURTAIN 



COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 

BISCUITS AND BILLS 

A comedy in 1 act, by O. B. DuBois. 3 male, 1 female character. Modern 
costumes. 1 easy interior scene. Time, about lj hours. Prom start to 
finish there is not a dull moment in this little comedy; it is brimful of fun, 
of rapid action, and of sparkling dialogue, and when played with the 
" dash " it requires, is sure to be a success. 

2, PRICE 25 CENTS 

SIMPKINS' LITTLE BREAKFAST PARTY 

A farce in 1 act, by Charles S. Bird. 4 male, 3 female characters. Cos- 
tumes modern. 1 plain interior scene. Time, l£ hours. Simpkins, having 
inherited a fortune, is spending a winter in New York, leaving his fiancee 
in his small home city. He becomes enamoured of an actress and invites 
her to a little breakfast at his apartments. She accepts with the under* 
standing that she be accompanied by her father, a widower, who proves to 
be an old flame of the widowed mother of Simpkins' fiancee. For reasons 
Which soon become obvious, the major sends her a hint of Simpkins' gay 
life, and suggests her presence in the city to investigate. She decides ac- 
cordingly, and the inopportune arrival of herself and daughter causes com- 
plications of the most ludicrous and comical variety. 

m PRICE 25 CENTS 

LODGERS TAKEN IN* 

A comedy in 3 acts, by Levin C. Tees. 6 male, 4 female characters, also 2 
supernumeraries. 1 interior scene. Time, about 2\ hours. Costumes of 
to-day. A husband with a strong case of the " green-eyed monster " taking 
a trip abroad with his wife, places his home in charge of his ne'er-do-well 
nephew. By connivance the valet of the house and the nephew rent the 
rooms to a very mixed class of tenants, whose diversified characters present 
great opportunity for comedy acting. The dialogue is very bright, the ac- 
tion continuous and the situations most laughable. This is adapted from 
the same work upon which William Gillette's famous " All the Comforts of 
Home " is based, with all the comedy parts retained, but the remainder 
brought down for a smaller cast and shorter time. 

PRICE 25 CENTS J 

THE NEW PASTOR 

Vaudeville sketch in 1 act, by Willis N. Bugbee. 2 male, 2 female char- 
acters. 1 easy interior scene. Time, if played straight, about 30 minutes; 
specialties to suit may be introduced. The New Pastor and Miss Colton 
meet accidently at Deacon Brown's house and, much to the surprise of the 
deacon, he learns that at one time they were good friends on the vaudeville 
stage. What the result is, is told in the climax. Good parts throughout. 

m PRICE 15 CENTS 

STANDING ROOM ONLY 

A comedy in 1 act, by Dwight S. Anderson. 3 male, 1 female character. 
1 very simple interior scene. Time, about 35 minutes. An exceedingly 
clever and vivacious sketch with plenty of humor. The cast contains a 
crabbed father; his son, a collegian; abutter, and a very superior juvenile 
female lead. All character parts and all good. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 

A STORMY NIGHT 

A comedy In 1 act, by Katharine Kavanaugh. 3 male, 1 female character. 
1 interior scene. Time, about 40 minutes. All the parts are good, especially 
that of Mrs. Bobinson. The dialogue is crisp, up-to-date, and somewhat on 
the order of a cross-fire sketch. As a bright and witty little comedy, highly 
recommended. 

PRICE 15 CENTS 



MILITARY PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

H. 

BY THE ENEMY'S HAND. 4 Acts; 2 hours 10 

EDWARDS, THE SPY. 5 Acts; 2V£ hours 10 

PRISONER OF ANDERSON VILLE. 4 Acts; 234 hours.. 10 

CAPTAIN DICK. 3 Acts; 1% hours 9 

ISABEL, THE PEARL OF CUBA. 4 Acts; 2 hours 9 

LITTLE SAVAGE. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 4 

BY FORCE OF IMPULSE. (15 cents.) 5 Acts; 2^ hours 9 
BETWEEN TWO FIRES. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2 hours 8 



RURAL PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

MAN FROM MAINE. 5 Acts; 2*4 hours 9 

AMONG THE BERKSHIRES. 3 Acts; 2J4 hours 8 

OAK FARM. 3 Acts; 2% hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 

GREAT WINTERSON MINE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 

SQUIRE THOMPKINS' DAUGHTER. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 5 

WHEN A MAN'S SINGLE. 3Acts;2hours 4 

FROM PUNKIN RIDGE. (15 cents.) 1 Act; lhour... 6 

LETTER FROM HOME. (15 cents.) 1 Act; 25 minutes 1 



ENTERTAINMENTS 

25 CENTS EACH 

AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY. 1 Scene 6 11 

BACHELOR MAIDS' REUNION. 1 Scene 2 30 

IN THE FERRY HOUSE. 1 Scene; labours 19 15 

JAPANESE WEDDING. 1 Scene; 1 hour 3 10 

MATRIMONIAL EXCHANGE. 2 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 

OLD PLANTATION NIGHT. 1 Scene; 1*4 hours 4 4 

YE VILLAGE SKEWL OF LONG AGO. 1 Scene. 13 12 

FAMILIAR FACES OF A FUNNY FAMILY 8 11 

JOLLY BACHELORS. Motion Song or Recitation 11 

CHRISTMAS MEDLEY. 30 minutes 15 14 

EASTER TIDINGS. 20 minutes 8 

BUNCH OF ROSES. (15 cents.) 1 Act. 1J^ hours 1 13 

OVER THE GARDEN WALL. (15 cents) 11 8 



COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 

25 CENTS EACH 

M. 7. 

BREAKING HIS BONDS. 4Acte;2hours 6 3 

BUTTERNUT'S BRIDE. 3 Acts; 2J^ hours 11 6 

COLLEGE CHUMS. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 9 3 

COUNT OP NO ACCOUNT. 3 Acts; 2^ hours 9 4 

DEACON. 5 Acts; 2}^ hours... 8 6 

DELEGATES PROM DESTEB. 2 Acts; 45 minutes 3 10 

DOCTOR BY COURTESY. 3Acts;2hours 6 5 

E ASTSIDERS, The. 3 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 8 4 

ESCAPED FROM THE LAW. 5 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 

GIRL FROM PORTO RICO. 3 Acts; 2^ hours 5 3 

GYPSY QUEEN. 4 Acts; 2}4 hours 5 3 

IN THE ABSENCE OF SUSAN. 3 Acts; 1^ hours 4 6 

JAILBIRD. 5 Acts; 2^ hours 6 3 

JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP. 4 Acts; 2 hours 7 4 

MY LADY DARRELL. 4Acts; 2^hours 9 6 

MY UNCLE FROM INDIA. 4 Acts; 2V$ hours 13 4 

NEXT DOOR. 3Acts;2hours 6 4 

PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE. 3 Acts; 2 hours 6 9 

REGULAR FLIRT. 3Acts;2hours 4 4 

ROGUE'S LUCK. 3 Acts; 2 hours 5 3 

SQUIRE'S STRATAGEM. 6 Acts; 2^J hours 6 4 

STEEL KING. 4 Acta; 2^ hours 5 3 

WHAT'S NEXT? & Acts; 2J* hours 7 4 

WHITE LIE. 4 Acts; 2V6 hours 4 8 



WESTERN PLAYS 

25 CENTS EACH 

ROCKY FORD. 4 Acts; 2 hours. 8 3 

GOLDEN GULCH. 3 Acts; 2»4 hours 11 3 

RED ROSETTE. 3 Acts: 2 hours 6 3 

MISS MOSHER OF COLORADO. 4 Acts; 2^ hours... 5 8 

STUBBORN MOTOR CAR. 8 Acts; 2 hours; 1 Stage Setting 7 4 

CRAWFORD'S CLAIM. (15 cents.) 3 Acts; 2)4 hours. 9 8 



DICK & FITZGERALD, Publisher*, 18 Ann Street,'N. Y. 

$$$ LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




017 400 749 4 



